I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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