i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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