I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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