we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
