I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
