Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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