Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
