just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
