Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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