TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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