Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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