Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
