He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
