not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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