and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
