so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
where are you?
Hypothermia
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
