It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
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So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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