I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
