apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
