i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Redeem this text for a blowjob
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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