my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
