I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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