have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
