in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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