Can Purell be used as lube?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
