remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Couch. On fire.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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