ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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