I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
