I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
