Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
