Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
