wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
