I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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