In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
your room smells of hookers.
And success
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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