I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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