do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
