The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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