We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
