So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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