508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
