no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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