I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
