like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
