dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize