she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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