Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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