end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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