I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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