i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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