the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
