You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
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I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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