she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
