...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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