we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
