i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
