Your face is a jimmy john
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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