I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize