I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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