I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
