We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
