I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
