i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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