dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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