I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
