I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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