we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
