Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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