a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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