I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
